Photo by: Courtney Carmody |
I
walked Beth home, dreading leaving her at the door. I held her hand,
as I had through the show, luxuriating in the contact. Her laugh was
as good as I remembered, and we had both laughed a lot. I wanted to
talk to her, to ask her something, but the quiet was so nice. Sharing
her company was something new to me, and I didn't want to spoil it.
"This
is me," she said, stopping in front of the building.
"Right."
I pulled her hand up, rubbing the back of it. "Um..."
"What
are you doing tomorrow?" she asked.
I
met her eyes, blinking in surprise. "N-nothing," I
stuttered.
She
looked at our joined hands and put her other hand around mine as
well. "My parents have a cabin on the lake. I was thinking of
going fishing. Do you fish?" she asked, looking up with those
dark eyes, soulful and bottomless.
"I...
I haven't," I admitted. "But I'd like to," I added
quickly.
She
smiled shyly and looked at our hands again. "I only have one
pole, but I'm sure we can share."
I
put my free hand to her cheek, my thumb rubbing the apple. She met my
eyes again, this time seeming almost frightened.
"Beth?"
She
blinked and swallowed. "You were going to kiss me again,"
she said slowly.
I
blushed a little. "Would you rather I didn't?" I asked.
We
each pulled our hands free. Mine found her waist as I continued to
caress her cheek. Hers clutched my shoulders, pulling me to her.
I
wondered sometimes how I didn't just sweep her up every time I saw
her, how I stayed in my office, how I got anything done. Some days I
didn't. Gary knew; he'd bust my chops every time he caught me
daydreaming in her direction, daydreaming of this.
Her
lips were soft and warm and tasted faintly of cherry. Behind that,
there was the sweetness of cilantro from dinner. My tongue, almost of
its own accord, brushed her lip, wanting to taste more.
She gasped and opened her mouth against mine, my breath pulled into her. I went with it, letting her pull my soul into her. I didn't want it without her anyway.
She gasped and opened her mouth against mine, my breath pulled into her. I went with it, letting her pull my soul into her. I didn't want it without her anyway.
How
had I fallen so hard for this girl? I had girlfriends before, a
couple since I had met Beth, but none of them made me feel like this.
They made me feel light, tingly, good. Beth made me feel grounded. At
the same time she threw away everything that wasn't me. All the walls
and safeguards I put up around myself were suddenly gone and there
was only her.
She
broke the kiss, her eyes fluttering. I hadn't blinked, I was sure.
Her eyes found mine and I felt myself smile.
"Peter,"
she whispered. "I think I should go upstairs now."
I
brushed her face with my hand again. "Before you do something
reckless?" I teased her.
She
nodded, face serious.
"Tomorrow?"
I asked.
"Pick
me up at seven," she said, smiling now.
My
jaw dropped. "In the morning?" I verified.
She
giggled and nodded. "Fish are easier to catch early in the
morning. I'd ask you to pick me up at six, but you probably wouldn't
want to."
I
thought about it a moment. "I'll pick you up at six."
Her
smile broadened and she kissed me again, pressing her body into mine.
This time my eyes closed, opening when she chuckled.
"What?"
I asked.
"You
look like you just went to a very happy place."
I
closed my eyes again, smiling. "I did."
"Take
me with you?" she asked, teasing.
Little
did she know it was only happy because she was there. "Promise,"
I said instead.
I
didn't sleep much that night. I couldn't get Beth out of my head. So
I texted her at five.
Too early? -P
Too early? -P
I'm
up. Just braiding my hair. -B
How
can you braid and text? -P
Shut
up and come get me. -B
Yes'm
-P
DeusXFlorida |
I
grinned as I hit send. She didn't often get bossy with me, I kinda
liked it. Slipping the phone in my jeans pocket and pulling on a
flannel shirt and ball cap I headed out the door. The hat felt odd on
my head. I almost never wore one. My hair was probably my best
feature, inherited from my mother. Hers curled even more than mine.
'Goldilocks', Dad would call her.
I
took a moment, holding the handle of my door, to remember losing
them. Fucking Dad and the fucking car after the fucking booze. It
wasn't Sarah's fault, but her memory might have been to blame. I was
sure it was.
With
another deep breath I closed the door behind me.
Beth
was already downstairs when I arrived, one dark braid over each
shoulder.
"This
is how," she said, waggling one at me. "I'd just finished
this one."
I
grinned. "Ah. That makes sense. Did you want to drive?"
Her
eyes went wide again. "Really?"
I
smirked. "Why not? You know where the cabin is and I don't."
I tossed her the keys, and she giggled a little running around me to
hop into the driver's seat. I didn't often think about my car, but
she was probably excited to get behind the wheel. Thanks to the
insurance on my parents' van, which my drunken father had wrecked,
and the sale of Mom's compact, I'd been able to purchase something
completely impractical for myself. I loved my 'vette.
"You're
sure?" she asked again, looking up at me from behind the wheel.
She looked like she belonged there. She wasn't a short woman and had
only moved the seat a notch toward the pedals.
"I'm
positive." I leaned down to kiss her and she blushed as I did,
grabbing the beak of my cap and tweaking it with a giggle.
"I
don't think I've ever seen you wear one of those before."
I
laughed too, backing up and circling the car. "You haven't, but
like the shirt, it seemed fitting." I picked up her pole and
tiny tackle box, putting them behind the seats.
She
laughed again. "Yes, I have seen you wear flannel, but only on
Red Green day."
I
remembered with her. Another one of Gary's infamous ideas. Let's all
pretend to be characters on The Red Green Show while the crew is in
renovating the office. I shuddered remembering the number of
'handyman' jokes that had flown that day.
"It's
not the same without the suspenders." I was in the seat now, and
she ran a hand down one side of my chest where my suspender would
have been had I been wearing them. My breath caught and I felt myself
stiffening at her touch.
She
must have realized because her jaw dropped and she pulled her hand
away. She put it on the gear shift instead. I covered her hand
lightly with my own, leaning over to kiss her cheek before belting
in.
She
bounced a little as my belt clicked. She turned the key and closed
her eyes at the purr of the engine. "I can't believe this."
I
laughed again. "Believe it because it's really happening."
She
laughed again and backed out of the spot I'd parked in. "I'll be
careful," she promised.
The
lake was only twenty minutes away, fifteen with the utter lack of
traffic this early in the morning. She pulled in beside one of ten or
so cabins along the south edge of the lake. The wind chopped up light
froth on the water. The smell of the trees as we opened the door
replaced the stale, smoggy, city smell in my car.
Photo by: Christine J Warner |
Beth
pulled out the box and rod while I rounded the car again, offering my
hand.
She
took it and led me down to a wharf next to the boat launch. A number
of small boats were tied to it. I felt the wind tug at my hat, but my
hair kept it lodged in place. Beth stood for a moment watching the
sun in the east. It was over the horizon, but just barely, still
pink.
I
moved slightly behind her, dropping her hand to put it around her
waist, my other on her near hip. I put my cheek to hers to enjoy the
view with her.
She
suddenly shook her head a little. "We'll miss all the fish at
this rate." She bent, setting the box down and opening it,
pulling out a lure.
"I
didn't come for fish," I whispered.
She
must have heard me, because I saw her cheek twitch in a smile and
turn a little pinker. It was true. I couldn't care less about whether
or not anything nibbled on that string, as long as I spent the day
with her.
But
a few things did nibble the line: a really tiny trout that made her
laugh, a slightly larger perch, and finally, something that she
needed help pulling out of the water.
"What
is this?" I asked, holding the squirming fish in my arms while
she pulled out the hook. We weren't keeping it, so I only held it
tight enough for her to work. As soon as her hands were free, I let
it slip back into the water.
"It
was a pike." She knelt to watch the shadow as the large fish
swam away. She was so cute, hanging half off the dock.
She
turned to look at me and laughed.
I
frowned, not knowing what was funny.
"You're
covered in scales!" she managed to squeak out while still
giggling.
I
looked down to see my flannel shirt covered in slime and fish. Vain
as ever, I was quickly deflated by both my shabbier appearance and
the laughter of the girl I loved. "Great," I muttered. I
turned and headed toward the cabins, stalking. I started unbuttoning
my shirt.
Beth
didn't follow immediately, she called to me though. "Peter! Oh,
no, Peter, I'm sorry! Please wait?"
I
didn't, I was in a snit. I tossed my shirt on the ground and climbed
a fence to land on her parents' cabin roof. It wasn't my roof, but it
would do. I sat and wished I had my cigarettes.
"Peter?"
She
was quiet. I hadn't heard her climbing the fence, but her head was
over the eave and she tossed the rod before pulling herself up beside
me. I lunged and caught her arms, helping her along.
She
flushed a little and pushed her hair out of her face. Concern covered
her face. "What's wrong?"
I
hadn't taken my arms off her. I wasn't about to let her fall off this
roof. It couldn't happen.
"Peter,
I'm all right." Her hand covered one of mine and I realized just
how hard I was holding her. Relaxing my hold very slightly, I shifted
over.
She smiled a little and laid back on the roof. I felt better
when I knew she couldn't fall. I knelt beside her.
"Really,"
she asked again, "what's going on? Were you that mad that I
laughed?"
"No."
I snorted. "Just a little embarrassed."
"Then
why...?"
"I
sit out on my roof when I need to calm down," I tried to
explain. "It's where I go to feel better."
"Your
safe place," she said with a smile.
"No."
The
roof was not safe. I came here because it wasn't safe, to stand on
the edge between life and death and test myself, test fate. I came
here to remember.
"Oh."
Her face turned down. It was wrong. I leaned over her, wanting to
make her feel better. Her eyes widened when she realized my
intention. She smiled and closed her eyes just before my lips found
hers.
I
brushed her mouth with my own lightly, not wanting to scare her like
the night before, or a week ago. She reached up and pulled off my
cap, tossing it behind her. She put her hands in my hair and mussed
it.
I
quirked an eyebrow, not sure what she was doing. She pulled my hair a
few more times, a few more different ways and finally nodded before
pulling my face back down to hers.
She
led the kiss this time, letting her tongue find my lips and part
them. I bent closer to her, my arm sliding up her side, feeling her
heat, her pulse.
I pulled away, breathless, once again wondering
how I was ever going to let her go.
"Peter?"
"Yes,
Beth?"
"Can
we do this every Saturday?"
"Fish?"
I asked, confused.
"Kiss."
She pulled me down again. "Oh, and let me drive your car,"
she added a few moments later when we stopped for breath again.
I
laughed. "Yes."